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Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Leo: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. As we speak, the Coast Guard is fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the Governor of Florida wants to blockade the Port of Miami. And somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman’s right to choose. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. And that all the residents should evacuate their homes. Joey (Kenny): There are people you haven't persuaded yet. Otherwise, you're like the French radical watching the crowd run by and saying, "There go my people. If you studiously say nothing, nothing that causes you trouble, nothing that's a gaff. They're all so poor, and many of 'em talk funny, and don't have proper table manners... J.: I changed my clothes because I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about two dead teenagers while wearing a ball gown and you know that because you're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying? He cannot possibly have been properly prepared by counsel for these questions, nor should he ever have to answer them publicly. Well, I'll just call the President and suggest to him that he allow a huge bipartisan vote on the floor of the U. House of Representatives calling him a liar and that he welcome the result. An issue where the feministas and the White House disagree. I may not have had sinister intent at the outset but there were plenty of opportunities for me to make it right. So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty. So instead of retiring as superintendent of the Ohio Valley Union Free School District, he retired head of the math department at William Henry Harrison Junior High. I can't remember what we were selling, but you worked off a script. Toby: There's always been a concern about the two Bartlets. How about two weeks ago, in the State of the Union, when the President praised the Islamic people as “faithful” and “hard-working” only to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam, but none of that is the point… If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it. [long pause]Ainsley: He would be able to, but that isn't the point. [To Celia] And, you, stop trying to take the fun out of my day. Bartlet: Let me tell you, you're really showing me something tonight. Professor Milgate: That’s because great achievement has no road map. I mean, when the electron was discovered in 1897, it was useless. Bartlet: Shaken, not stirred will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack? A perception that's not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. It seems my granddaughter, Annie, had given an interview in one of the teen magazines. As if drug kingpins didn't live their day to day lives under the possibility of execution, and their executions are a lot less dainty than ours and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process. He heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town. And she knows it's beginning to show and she needs to cover herself with misdirection. You can win, if you run a smart disciplined campaign. Lots of times we don't know what right or wrong is but lots of times we do and come on, this is one. And so I announce to you tonight that I will bring the full resources of the Federal Government and the full reach of my office to this fundamental goal: We will cure cancer by the end of this decade. And any time there was opportunity for career advancement, it took him an extra five years because invariably there was a less qualified black woman in the picture. My name is..." And "Toby Ziegler" was okay for New York, but once I got into the other time zones, I needed a name that wasn't gonna bother anybody. How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab World told us we were desecrating their Holy Land while ignoring the fact that we were invited? Be exposed to social sciences, history, some literature. Bartlet: Well, I guess we talked about a lot of things: who we think the Republican challenger is gonna be, and incumbency, and campaign strategy - strategic overview, but the long and short of it is, my father never liked me, at all. There's a little thing called heart and you've got it, my friend. Neither were discovered with a practical objective in mind. If we stumble into truth, we got lucky, and I don't get to decide what truth is.
A good friend of mine's about to get fired for going on television and making sense, and it turns out I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night. Now Annie, all of 12, has always been precocious, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders and I like it when she uses it. I must find out where they're going so I can lead them."Bartlet: We never anticipated that somebody might try that? Nothing that shows that you might think the wrong thing, nothing that shows you think. my father slaved away at the Fortune 500 company he inherited so that I could go to Choate, Brown and Harvard and see that this country isn't overrun by poor people and lesbians. I'm Republican because I believe in smaller government. Security's gonna take your press credentials, you'll call my office every day, and I'll decide if you get into the room. J.: I don't know sir, when I came in here – back in the late 50s – there was a purpose to it but then one thing led to another and I blacked out. [Charlie walks in with a piece of paper, Bartlet grabs it.] Zip code 50504. And if you proceed with this line of questioning, I will resign this Committee, and wait in the tall grass for you, Congressman. Then, I'm going to flap my wings and fly to Neverland. That way, I can go to her, break the bad news, stand tough, smooth it over and then, you know, I take it from there. No one in government takes responsibility for anything anymore. The absent-minded professor with the 'Aw, Dad' sense of humor. I don’t remember having to explain to Italians that our problem wasn’t with them, but with Mussolini. The point is that sexual revolution tends to get in the way of actual revolution. So, you, [to Sam] 25% on the assessments for Category A. The reason you stir it with a special spoon is so not to chip the ice.
Now would you please, in the name of compassion, tell me which one of those kids is my boss's daughter? So I couldn’t understand it when her mother called me in tears yesterday. " She said, "It’s Annie." Now, I love my family and I’ve read my Bible from cover to cover. And until you do, you can all get your fat asses out of my White House. We weren't prepared for someone to try and outfox us with a stratagem so sophisticated it's an entire generation behind "Hey look, your shoelaces are untied!? If I could put myself anywhere in time, it would be the Cabinet room, on August 4, 1964. Don't consider authorizing a massive commitment of troops and throwing in our lot with torturers and panderers, leaders without principle and soldiers without conviction; no clear mission, and no end in sight." This war is at home. Landingham: You know, if you don't want to run again, I respect that. Toby: 'We can sit back and admit with great sensitivity that life isn't fair... But it just isn't worthy of us, is it Toby, It isn't worth of us, it isn't worthy of America, and it isn't worthy of a great nation. Three swing states you could have brought over with that. This country was founded on the principle of freedom, and freedom stands opposed to constraints, and the bigger the government, the more the constraints. J.: Leo, we need to be investigated by someone who wants to kill us just to watch us die. I'm taking your spot on Pebble Beach, you can do your stand-ups from Lafayette Park. J.: One more word out of your mouth and every local station but yours gets an exclusive with the President. [Sherri exits] And the chemical formula for table salt is Na Cl! I mean, I can hang in there with the best of them, sir, but somewhere during the conversation about anise and coriander and the other fifteen spices you like to use to baste a turkey I simply lost consciousness. 54 Pruder Street, and it's very important that you put 'street' down there because sometimes it gets confused with Pruder Way and Pruder Lane. Bruno: [to Bartlet] I have difficulty sometimes talking to people who don't race sailboats. Larry: [Reading a book that an ex-reporter wrote about the White House] “Bartlet was playing a round of golf with Toby Ziegler, the prickly communications director, whose bitter inner darkness spelled the breakup of the one marriage we know about.”Leo: This is five hundred and thirty-five Congressmen and Senators standing up and saying the President lied and should be ashamed of himself. Why does the US have to take every Arab country out for an ice cream cone? [long pause] Thousands of madrasas teaching children nothing, nothing, nothing but the Koran and to hate America. Nonsense issues distract attention away from real ones: pay equity, child care, honest-to-God sexual harassment, and in this case a speech in front of the U. James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it. When you taught Beowulf, did you make the kids read it in the original Middle English or did you use a translation?
You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Sam: [reading a newspaper article, quoting a congressman] "Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. Where was the retribution for the families, and where is the warning to the rest of the world that Americans shall walk this Earth unharmed, lest the clenched fist of the most mighty military force in the history of mankind comes crashing down on your house?! It's how you behave if you're the most powerful nation in the world. Listen, Leo Mc Garry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. But we're here now, tomorrow night we do an immense thing; we have to say what we feel, that government, no matter what its failures in the past and in times to come for that matter, government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind. Society has a right to protect itself, but it doesn't have a right to be vengeful. Let me take you to safety." But the man shouted back, "I’m religious. And a guy with a megaphone shouted, "Hey you, you down there. Let me drop this ladder and I’ll take you to safety." But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him and that God will take him to safety. and certainly a credible one from a man who's fought in a war. I don’t think the framers were thinking of three guys in a Dodge Durango. But I know that if you combine all the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark, and Australia you’ll get a population roughly the size of the United States. Do you think it’s because Americans are more homicidal by nature or do you think it’s because those guys have gun control laws? They lie when 72 percent of Americans say they're tired of a sex scandal, while all the while, newspaper circulation goes through the roof for anyone featuring the story. I think giving people a vision of government that's more than Social Security checks and debt reduction is good. Sam: [reading an excerpt rejected from the State of the Union speech] Over the past half century, we've split the atom, we've spliced the gene and we've roamed Tranquility Base. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass - What?
Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. Where was Morris's protection, or anybody else on that airplane? [sitting down] Oh, man, Leo..I think of all the work you put in to get me to run, when I think of all the work you did to get me elected... [Leo and Bartlet laugh]Bartlet: But you prefer Charlie, right? See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the President took your district with fifty-nine. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. [pause] We're running away from ourselves and I know we can score points that way, I was a principal architect of that campaign strategy right along with you, Josh. For all I know, that thinking reflected the best wisdom of its time, but it's just plain wrong by any modern standard. God will save me."A helicopter was hovering overhead. " The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Lord John Marbury: Well that's the right sentiment... We build a shield and somebody will build a better missile. It says "a well regulated militia being necessary for the security of a free state, the government shall not infringe." The words "well regulated" and "militia" are in the first sentence. They're going to check it every night before they go home.
So I want you to tell me from what part of the Holy Scripture do you suppose the Lambs of God drew their Divine inspiration when they sent my 12 year-old granddaughter a Raggedy Ann doll with a knife stuck through its throat? " Is that how I just lost nine guys, to a damn street gang with a ham radio? When our ships were attacked by North Vietnam in the Tonkin Gulf. The casualties are in our prisons, and not our hospitals. [stands up] But if you don't run 'cause you think it's gonna be too hard or you think you're gonna lose - well, God, Jed, I don't even want to know you. It's strict adherence to a particular interpretation of 7th century Islamic law as practiced by the prophet Mohammed, and when I say "strict adherence," I'm not kidding around. I mean, you really want to go in and kill them where they live? and the less-advantaged are destined to their lot in life... We're going to write a new book, right here, right now. Bruno: I've been thinking it might not be such a bad idea to lock you all in here and set the place on fire. We will work hard, we will work well, and we will work together. You should have waited until the fall when the bell rings and then we hammer them with it. We need someone perceived by the American people to be irresponsible, untrustworthy, partisan, ambitious, and thirsty for the limelight. Bartlet: Words when spoken out loud for the sake of performance are music. These are the properties of music and music has the ability to find us and move us and lift us up in ways that literal meaning can't. When I was a teenager, I crewed Larchmont to Nassau on a 58-foot sloop called Cantice. Cliff: [to a Republican senator] This is bush league. And this is us, standing up and saying 'You're right.' This would be the first time in history a President has been censured. Bartlet: [on the phone to Donna's former teacher] It's Jed Bartlet, Mrs. CJ: [about the treatment of women in Saudi Arabia] Outraged? This is a country where women aren't allowed to drive a car.